wise advice from a past bride

Now, I know from the title you're probably thinking this post will be about weddings, or wedding planning, but it isn't. It's more about...life. Bandi is one of my past brides- I show her wedding back in 2009. Here she is with her husband, Clay, looking all gorgeous:

She wrote a post on her Facebook page recently that really sparked my interest, which I'm reposting here with her permission. Bandi is a stay-at-home Mom (past teacher) who I relate to very much! I loved hearing her perspective on being at home, and since I work from home, but also must make an income, Shawn and I use a lot of the same approaches to the way we live life in order to make it all work. With the exception of keeping other kids, I can totally vouch for the benefits of each thing she's mentioned. Enjoy!

So I'm a Cheapskate...There's Nothing Wrong With That!

by Bandi David

People repeatedly ask me how much I enjoy staying home with Karrington, and I always say (and always will say) I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE staying home. Next they almost always say something along the lines of "must be nice your husband makes enough for you to stay home" or "how do you manage financially?" or "I wish I was able to stay home but we can't afford it" or something similar. I understand what I am blessed to do is not for everyone, nor is everyone in a financial place where they can stay home, but I remember my mom telling me something along the lines of families with two working parents average 10% more income than families with one. Don't ask for the research behind that because I don't have it, but it struck a chord with me. I knew we would have to make sacrifices, but I realized I wouldn't have to sacrifice everything to do this!

 Here's what we've done to be able to afford me staying home.

 1) God blessed me with Clay David who was willing to live differently than anyone we knew, who was willing to take the responsibility of being the only working parent in our home, who was willing to let me have my way and stay home with our Karrington, who is the most fabulous hard working man I know. 

 2) We got out of debt. God has been so good to Clay and I and our only debt when I got pregnant was my car and our house; with gazelle like intensity :) we paid that car off. We knew we couldn't afford both a car and a house payment so we worked to eliminate one. 

 3) We got on a serious budget. My budget is an Xcel work of art. It's beautiful. I'm a nerd. We looked at what needed to be paid, what we needed to save for, what things might come up throughout the year. We looked at ways of saving pennies with our bills. We sit down every single month and go back over our budget.  We use Dave Ramsey's envelope system and NEVER EVER EVER EVER have to use a credit card. We don't even have a credit card. We pay cash. When we're out of cash we don't spend. If we want something we save up for it. Its pretty simple really. It took us a few months to nail down what our budget looks like now, but its been refreshing/relieving/peaceful to know where every penny Clay brings home will go before the money comes in. 

 4) e-mealz.com I've said it before, I will say it again e-mealz.com will absolutely change your life. For $5 a month I never have to make a grocery list, I never have to decide "What's for dinner tonight", I never have to spend more than 30 minutes cooking. We seldom have food go bad. We don't end up with random things we never use in our pantry. We don't throw out leftovers because we don't have many leftovers. When we went to e-mealz.com menus our grocery bill dropped $250 a month!! AND we quit eating out as much because I never said "I have nothing to cook lets just go out". If you're my friend and I haven't told you about e-mealz.com I must never see you. It is hands down the greatest invention of all time. If you're curious what I'm talking about, message me. I will SO fill you in.

 5) We use cloth diapers. I know, I know, it sounds gross. Except it isn't. Ha! We really only started cloth diapers when Karrington was about 4 months old. We were battling rash after rash after rash and I was solution shopping. Cloth diapers are NOT what your mother used to use. They're fabulous actually. They are just as easy as disposables. We use bumGenius 4.0 diapers and love them. I cannot even STAND the smell of disposables anymore. Cloth diapers cost about $500; the average family spends $3,000 per child diapering them. I'm no genius, but that seems like a pretty good deal. AND we'll be able to use our diapers on any other children we have. 

Here's Karrington modeling her fabulous BumGenius diaper :)

 

 The questions I most often get about cloth diapering:

a) Doesn't it stink? answer...NO. Disposable diaper users wrap the poo up and stick it in a smell containing poo pail. I flush poo down the toilet. I don't have to dunk and flush like back in the olden days, I have a sprayer that attaches to my toilet and just sprays the poo down the toilet. My OPEN pail doesn't even stink.

Diaper Sprayer

b) Don't you spend as much washing diapers as you would on disposables? answer...NO. We probably will spend $15 A YEAR extra washing diapers. I wash every 2-3 days. I do laundry anyway so there's no extra work. I don't have to do much fancy. There's very little staining, and when I have a stain I sit that diaper in the sunshine and the stain goes away. I'm working to convince my husband to put me a clothes line up so I can dry them all in the sun anyway. 

 c) Well you can do that because you're home but I can't because i work. Not really a question but I get that a LOT. I know two other cloth diaper parents who work. AND send their kids to daycare. There's no excuse. Just because you work doesn't mean you don't ever do laundry either. 

 The other perks of cloth diapers:

a) NO BLOWOUTS! Especially with that newborn poo when you're changing diapers every other second. 

b) My diapers are cuter than yours and I don't even have the cutest cloth diapers there are.

c) I don't leave my daughter in a diaper FOREVER because I feel guilt about throwing $0.30 in the trash 10 seconds after I just changed her. I'm doing laundry anyway.....

d) We never have to run to the walmart in the middle of the night because we're out of diapers. Ever. 

 6) I keep children. I listed this last on purpose. There is no way I could be staying home with our without keeping children without doing the first four things on this list. Keeping children was something I decided to do to keep things from being too tight. It gives us money to save for vacations, and the new fence we need, and future hospital bills that may come up, and deductibles, and other things that come up unannounced. We have our budget down to such a science that we are able to put all the money I make into savings and we're able to live more comfortably. God has provided for our every need. He has blessed us with three ridiculously cute boys with great parents who are willing to leave their children with me. Karrington LOVES having the boys here to play with every day. I stay busy keeping up with all of them AND I still get to hold my daughter before every nap, and kiss all her boo boos, and read to her (and the boys) every day, and all the other things I wanted to do. 

Collin and Karrington

 

We've made sacrifices, yes, but I wouldn't want it any other way. 

_______________________________

Thank you, Bandi, for letting me share this! 

lissa likes • november 2010

It's time for the November installment of "Lissa Likes"! Since it's the last day of the month (as well as me 27th birthday- eek!), this list is going to look a little bit like my Christmas list too. :)

1. All things Christmas. We kept the decorations pretty simple this year, since there's no telling how much time we'll have to take them all down if baby Knox arrives early. BUT, I LOVE our tree...and the cinnamon spice candles...and of course the Christmas music. My all-time favorite:

2. Ketti Bags. I love these stylish camera bags! Maybe it could double as a diaper bag?? HERE is their site. 

3. This Nikon mug from Photojojo. There has been a Canon coffee mug floating around for a while, but now there's finally one for us Nikonians! 

4. Sun Harvest muffins. Sun Harvest is the newest grocery store in Lubbock- located in the Kingsgate shopping center. I've been shopping there the past several weeks, and we have loved the fresh selection of produce and reasonably-priced meats and seafood. One Sunday I'd run out of my pregnancy-emergency snacks I usually stash in my purse for those times when I HAVE...TO...EAT...SOMETHING...and a lady walked by me with a huge tray of blueberry muffins straight out of the oven. I wanted one SO. BAD. But I told myself no...we were almost done. That's when I saw the .99 sign. And I grabbed one. And it was delicious. I won't tell you how many more I've consumed since that impulsive day. :) While I'm at it, I'll go ahead and include Chipotle and Einstein Bros. Bagels to my list since they're both recent LBK arrivals. 

5. Jon Acuff + Dave Ramsey. As you know, we have been Dave-Ramsey-brainwashed. We also love the book "Stuff Christians Like" by Jon Acuff (HERE's his blog). So when Jon Acuff writes a book about Dave Ramsey, we buy it. Immediately. (In cash, within our budget constraints of course!) Shawn and I listened to the audiobook on our way home for Thanksgiving and laughed the whole way. If you listen to the Dave Ramsey Show or have gone to Financial Peace University, you'll find something in this book hilarious. Guaranteed.

6. Ravelry. HOW have I not known about this awesome knitting/crocheting online community? There are so many great resources and patterns here...I'm a little obsessed. My username is "lissaanglin" if you would like to be my friend. :)

 

7. Closure. I'm officially on maternity leave until March, which doesn't mean I won't be working- it just means I won't be shooting. After a pretty intense summer and fall, it feels SO GOOD to have a nice break (not to mention I'm moving a lot slower these days). I love my clients and they have all been so helpful and cooperative in getting their wedding albums, print orders, and other items ordered and sent out. 97% of the brides + grooms I shot this last year already have their wedding albums in hand- which is huge! Honestly, though- I'm ready to get refreshed and take a step back from work to focus on family for a while. I know I'll be ready to go in March when I start back- hopefully with a new fervor and ideas!

This also means that for a while this blog will be full of personal posts- hope you're ready! I still have a few touches to make to the nursery, but hopefully soon I'll get to share that project with you all!

finally...some time!

I've been telling myself I needed to sit down and write a personal post- not just to update you guys on what I've been up to (weddings, anyone? :)), but for myself. I look back at my old blog posts every now and then, and it's so awesome to see how God has responded to every one of my concerns and exceeded my expectations with so many things- this little business, our finances, my spiritual walk. 

So, I can't believe this summer is almost OVER! I have loved, loved, loved getting to spend every Saturday with my clients- they are all so special and unique, and getting to see their stories unfold is something I never take for granted. I also love getting to hang out with my second shooters- Shanna and Lauren- they have been my backbone during those moments I thought I might have a pregnancy-induced emotional breakdown, haha. 

Weddings are winding down, though not completely finished for 2010- get excited for what's to come- I know I am! I have had many people email me to ask if I will be shooting into the fall and winter, and the answer is YES! I will be focusing more on seniors this month and in October-November it will be all about families with my usual Mini-Sessions.

I will be 20 weeks pregnant (halfway) in three days. Getting out of that first trimester was like moving to a much happier, hungrier place! I have gained my energy back and am starting to see a bit of a belly. We are DYING to find out what the gender of this little one will be- and we'll know after August 27 when we have a Gender Reveal Party. (Haven't heard of this? I love a good party- and see almost any reason as a good excuse to have one. We have the gender of our baby sealed in an envelope that our ultrasound technician gave us. I'll take it to a bakery and have them bake a cake with either pink or blue icing in the middle of two layers. Then, at the party, along with our families- we'll cut the cake and find out if it's a girl or boy!) 

Here are some notes on this pregnancy so far:

1. I love a good pity party. Ask Shawn. He has been SUPER incredible at dealing with my "moments", and I can't wait to see him as Daddy.

2. I think I am feeling this baby move! Everyone has described it as a "fluttering" feeling...and lo and behold, I believe I've got a flutter.

3. DON'T buy this. I knew in my gut it was a cheap piece of technology when we purchased it. It truly is, folks. Don't waste your time.

4. I am a bit ashamed to say that one of the things I am looking forward to most is using these diapers. I have done probably too much research on the subject of cloth diapers, but I just love the concept and I know this kiddo is going to have one happy bum!

5. I wish Etsy had a registry feature. There are SO many cool baby items over there. 

6. I'm already amazed at the generosity of others. A friend sent me a huge box of maternity clothes one day, and I just cried when I opened it! I hope I will be able to give like that when it's my turn.

7. I did splurge on one maternity item- Isabella Oliver was having a major sale so I picked up one of their wrap shirts. It is cute and comfortable and makes me feel pretty, even. 

8. At my last doctor's appointment, I was told I needed to gain more weight. (WHAT? I have NEVER been told this in my LIFE!!!) Four weeks later, I am still technically underweight, and though I feel like I have been stuffing my face with food constantly, I am getting a little concerned. Of course, I want to have a healthy baby- so this has been a matter of prayer (and many visits to the grocery store.)

In other news, WE'RE DEBT FREEEEEEEEEE! I am SO excited about this. We've been working on our "debt snowball" for exactly a year this month and it's crazy to see how God's timing is absolutely perfect. The biggest hurdle has been trying to sell a motorcycle we purchased (on a whim = without using our brains) a few years ago. We started with an asking price of 5700.00 and eventually brought the price down (as we paid it off in chunks) to 4800.00, which is what we recently sold it for. I called yesterday for the payoff amount- and it was 4840.00. Really, God?!?! How did you do that?!?

I've learned so many things in this process. I know that money will never be in charge of us again. We CAN and WILL live within our means, and now we get to GIVE like no one else. Freedom from debt is so much more than not having a credit card bill. It means that we have more opportunities to use the things that God's given us in a generous way. 

I am so thankful for my business partner, Shawn. Without his help, we would not be here. He's put up with all my coupon clipping and crazy budget adjustments. Most of all, I have loved getting to dream with him- one of the best parts of this process has been setting goals for ourselves, and knowing we will achieve them if we just stick to it!

Hope I didn't bore you all! I am off to Dallas to shoot a fantastic bridal session and spend some much needed time off with good company. Have a great week!